i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
