Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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