Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
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You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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