Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
