Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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