I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
sarcasm needs its own font
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
