i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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