ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
