My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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