Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just cropdusted the office
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
