was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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