I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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