Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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