I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Did you pee in the oven last night??
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
