i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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