Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dick very happy bro
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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