Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
