Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
