My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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