i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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