So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
