I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
