Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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