we have pet lesbian snakes
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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