She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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