Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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