I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
