He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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