I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
