yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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