Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
