Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
