"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
