so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Barsexuality is the new black.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
