nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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