you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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