Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
