The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
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