How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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