I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I am spending my child support on dildos
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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