I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Dear god my vagina.
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