watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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