Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
