And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
