Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
