I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
