Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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