I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize