your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
