life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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