Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
why is half of my head shaved?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
