Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
