I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
