Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
